"The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year --- everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth."

"'Let no one be willing to speak ill of the absent."

"We teach them proper principles and let them govern themselves."

"You can鈥檛 argue with all of the fools in the world. It鈥檚 easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they鈥檙e not paying attention."

"All jobs are easy to the person who doesn't have to do them."

"God made man, and then said I can do better than that and made woman."

"Any colour - so long as it's black."

"Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president."

"[Advise] the ruler to govern the state as one cooks a small fish -- that is, don't turn it so often in the pan that it disintegrates."

"Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings."

"Journalism justifies its own existence by the great Darwinian principle of the survival of the vulgarist."

"All is flux, nothing stays still."