"Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania'...or 'teria'."

"What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?"

"I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn."

"You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity."

"Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa."

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"

"I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma: but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest."

"All ambitions are lawful except those which climb upward on the miseries or credulities of mankind."

"Girls just want to have funds."

"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised."

"The proper basis for marriage is a mutual misunderstanding."

"Go Confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined."