"The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist."

"There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses."

"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity."

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

"I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going."

"You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul."

"Faith, as well intentioned as it may be, must be built on facts, not fiction--faith in fiction is a damnable false hope."

"What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?"

"I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

"Most directors make films with their eyes; I make films with my testicles."

"...for no man lives in the external truth among salts and acids, but in the warm, phantasmagoric chamber of his brain, with the painted windows and the storied wall."