"Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always make you less than you are."

"When in doubt, duck."

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

"There is never enough time, unless you're serving it."

"You can judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing to them or for them."

"If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues' initials on 'em, and pass them along. When in doubt, route."

"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."

"I realized, I'm never gonna be a Brad Pitt, so get over it, be happy with yourself, and move on."

"Indecision may or may not be my problem."

"If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks."

"Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge."

"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain."